"This Is The How And Why Of It."
Updated: Jan 31
"Being convinced, we were at Step Three, which is that we decided to turn our will and life over to God as we understood Him."
Convinced of what?
Convinced of the three pertinent ideas.
By the time I landed at this spot in the Big Book I had been sober in AA for quite some time, hadn't even paid attention to the book.
I did have my personal adventures before. What I didn't have yet were my personal adventures "after." I hadn't experienced a full spiritual experience as a result of the steps yet?
Sure I knew I met the description of the alcoholic and that I was a real alcoholic by the Big Book's standard. Yet I was still so full of myself, and delusional, that I thought I was doing a bang up job managing my life (even though it was going to pieces). And under this malaise I believed that I could relieve my alcoholism with human power, (especially my own). I didn't fully understand that God could and would if He were sought. Yet.
The place I was at was just enough to push me forward to do the work, to take the action required in Steps 4 through 9. This is where I would become fully convinced about the three pertinent ideas.
"Just what do we mean by that and just what do we do?"
This is a legitimate question that nearly every man and woman in AA wants the answer to. Perhaps it's the question that most in the halls of AA are afraid to ask for fear that they will look foolish. After all, isn't the idea of our self-esteem and pride being affected a bit outrageous as we approach the writing?
The answer to the question?
You'd think it would be in the next paragraph (where it should be). But it isn't.
The question is answered on the bottom of page 62, two pages away when the authors write...
"This is the how and why of it. First of all, we had to quit playing God. It didn't work. Next, we decided that hereafter in this drama of life, God was going to be our Director. He is the Principle, we are His agents. He is the Father, and we are His children. Most good ideas are simple, and this concept was the keystone of the new and triumphant arch through which we passed to freedom."
For some, it is easy to understand what is being said here, and to take the directive literally and begin to live it. For others not so much. It was that way with me. I had to be fully deflated with the action of the writing and a fifth step to roughly comprehend the conception being put forth here. It was the further action of the amends after letting go absolutely in the 7th step that allowed me to fully comprehend the conception.
The design of the 12 Steps is brilliant.
Brilliant in that they put us in our place.
The place of realizing that we are not God.
Though He is deep down inside, we are not He.